When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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