And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
