Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
