There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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