i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
