Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
is it fun? or sober?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
