Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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