before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
