waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
