these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
