I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
