big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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