We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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