I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
