I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
