I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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