shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
