I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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