I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
