He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
