I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
