That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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