1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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