he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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