is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
