We named our party play list daddy issues
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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