i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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