Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We got so high we made milksteak
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
