I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
