If i come over, it means nothing
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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