Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
