shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
