theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
