i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
