please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
