so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
