so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
