apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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