wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
