you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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