You just made me feel so damn special
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
