Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
