I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
