I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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