If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
