How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
