I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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