I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
