Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize