Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
