She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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