Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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