when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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