so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
