it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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