He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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