Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
