dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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