I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Randomize
