Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
