Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
