I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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